S.O.S

Guys, I keep trying to do these scarf looks and my scarf keeps slipping off like ten minutes after the twenty minutes I spend trying to tie it just right. Ugh. Help! I need to look cute like these ladies!

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This morning I wasted good Twitter-scrolling and smoothie-making minutes trying to tie on a scarf, and then, when I finally had it on satisfactorily, I continued getting ready only for it to slide off again. I’m losing my patience, so I may just have to call it quits and buy the already-tied versions. It feels like a failure to not be able to do something so seemingly simple. But sometimes you just gotta take the L, right?

Last week I ordered a dress from Nordstrom that looked kinda pretty and interesting online, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sold on it and wanted to see it in person. It was delivered today, and ohmygod it’s the prettiest dress I own now! I almost don’t want to show you guys a picture of it, because the picture (and the styling) just doesn’t do it justice. And I don’t want you all to be like, “um, that dress is not all that what are you even thinking?” because it is. It is all that. It’s everything.

green dress
via Nordstrom.com

I can’t wait to wear it. I even thought about going out to dinner tonight just so I’d have an excuse to put it on, but it’s 31 degrees out, kids. I don’t wanna wear it that bad. I also ordered a reed diffuser from Nordstrom and now my place smells just like grapefruit when I walk through the door. Living the dream.

What else, what else, what else? Oh, I took a look at the screen time feature on my iPhone to get an idea of how much time I spend on my phone on various apps. I’m not going to share the screenshot of last week’s total time, because I am legit embarrassed. So I’ve imposed a one hour limit on most of the apps on my phone. I wish I could say that I’m getting so much more done now, but I’m really just going through withdrawal at this point. WHAT IS HAPPENING ON TWITTER?! HAS STEPH SHEP POSTED ANY GORGEOUS OUTFIT PICS ON INSTAGRAM? Gah. Help.

À plus, my loves!

Grown

I just texted my friend with a picture of my new rose gold chrome nails, and her verbatim response was, “Biiiittttcchhhh.” That means she likes them.

Tomorrow I’m going to a friend’s birthday dinner, so of course I’m conditioning my hair with an egg right now. I don’t remember where I heard about it, but last time I tried it, it made my hair extremely shiny. Try it. You’re welcome.

Earlier today I came home and decided to make fried chicken for dinner. On the fly. No prep. It was a whole disaster. I’ve been taking classes, but, er, um, I’m still not ready for the impromptu-no-recipe-no-preparation-dinners. It was depressing, so I went online and bought another silk robe. What does one have to do with the other? Thank you for asking! When I prance around the house in a silk robe, it makes me feel like I’m killing it at this being-an-adult thing. I mean, only adults do that, right? See? My logic is airtight.

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Alright, I’ve gotta go rinse my hair and get back to this Golden Girls marathon I’m watching on TV. When I was a kid, Dorothy was my favorite character, but now I’m kinda vibing with Blanche. However, I think both of them are too mean to Rose.

G’bye!

 

Aloha

My best friend’s birthday was Christmas day. Eight of us planned a trip to Maui to celebrate. I don’t necessarily care for tropical vacations (give me a snowy hill and a snowboard, please), but I love Hawaii. It’s so, so, so beautiful. Everywhere you look there’s just jaw-dropping scenery. I’ve been walking around with my mouth open for twenty-four hours. Hawaii really is paradise. That was extremely cliché. When I was a kid, I always thought I’d be a really cool adult who always said really cool things, but…nope.

Yesterday we went snorkeling. The water, the fish–everything was in technicolor. How are all the colors so bright here?! We also went whale watching. A whale jumped out of the water like ten feet in front of me. I thought my heart would explode out of my chest it was pounding so hard! To see a living thing so enormous that it looks like it could swallow you whole is pretty thrilling.

Guys, I’m not going to lie to you–I felt really close to nature yesterday. Like so close that I felt mad guilt for wanting to eat seafood. And then mad guilt for actually eating seafood. And now I feel mad guilt for telling you that I had the best scallops and ahi of my life last night. But I’m eating fruit this morning to hopefully mitigate some of this contrition I feel! There’s a line in a Fiona Apple song that I love that says, “Can’t take a good day without a bad one/don’t feel just to smile til I’ve had one…” and I never feel her more on that than when I’m doing things like sitting in paradise making myself feel guilty.

Today there are no scheduled plans except to find shaved ice and food trucks and maybe float on my back in this glorious salt water and watch the clouds pass by overhead with all of these jerks that I love so much. I guess I can withstand a little guilt for a day like that.

A hui hou!

Bonne Année!

I woke up this morning and most of my pillows were on the floor and the sheets were untucked. As per usual. Anyone else a savage sleeper? I mean, I sleep like a log. But obviously a thrashing, wiggling log. When I was about seven, the whole family was at my grandma’s house so we had to be resourceful with sleeping arrangements. I slept in my grandma’s bed with her, and the next morning she was like, “never again!” And she meant it. It’s comforting to know that some things just don’t change!

This morning I went to brunch with some of my family, and then we went to the mall for some light browsing. I looovee to browse. I’m not the best at making decisions about things right away. I like to ponder. It’s a strength and a weakness. I can tell you all the notes of that perfume you’re considering and five other perfumes that are similar. But if you want to go out and eat lunch with me right now…well, you’ll definitely have to decide where. I’m not a machine!

I’m a little sad that the holiday season is over (still really have the urge to keep watching Home Alone), and I’m always a little irked at the “new year new me” sentiment that January brings about. But that’s just me having a good ol’ love/hate relationship with change. It’s necessary and good and blah blah blah. But man, does it knock me off balance for a minute (longer than a minute)!

Happy New Year, guys! Enjoy your black-eyed peas!

My For-Real, For-Real New Year’s Resolution

C’est presque la nouvelle année !

It’s almost the new year, kids!  I have a ton of New Year’s resolutions that I’m probably going to forget about around January 15th, but…BUT…there is one that I’m really going to keep. I’m going to speak French so well that I don’t have to think about/translate every single word I say.

You see how I’m just spitting out words right now with no thought and no hesitation and I’m just talking and talking and I could go on and on and on about my new reed diffuser or how my car got scratched or that I lost about thirteen Chapsticks this year? That’s how I want to be with French. But less annoying and more interesting, obviously. And even if it takes me all the way to December 31, 2019, I will succeed!

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Right now when I have to form a complete French sentence
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Me forming complete French sentences by the end of the year

Soyez prêt !

I hope you all have a great New Year’s Eve, whatever that means for you! And for the love of God, don’t all of you descend upon my gym on January 1st and take all of the treadmills, mmkay? I already don’t want to be there, and I ain’t waiting 45 minutes. I’d just give up and go home to eat croissants. Don’t do that to ya girl!

Bisous !

Joyeux Noël !

I just finished wrapping my goddaughter’s and sister’s Christmas gifts, one of which is a pair of cashmere overalls. I know it’s kinda silly to buy cashmere for babies, but I couldn’t help it. They’re so cute!

cashmere
via Zara

 

How could I deny them something so soft and beautiful?

I ordered a dresser a couple of weeks ago, and it was finally delivered. I was so excited until I realized that the box was missing the screws to put the legs on. It was annoying, but like “first-world problems” annoying, so I didn’t spiral (but I wanted to!). I called the company I bought it from and they told me that they’d give me a partial refund if I’d figure it out myself. I’m obviously paraphrasing here. But, of course, I jumped on that, because I’m cheap and also resourceful. So yesterday, I did indeed figure it out myself, and now I have a gorgeous dresser at a discounted price!

This is it, by the way.

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Safavieh Zinnia 3-Drawer Chest

I mean…how gorgeous?!!! I love this thing. Merry Christmas to me. Since we’re on the topic of clothes and furniture, check out my new blog http://www.etrenoir.com . I’m going to be talking about all of my decorating over there.

I’ve gotta run to the farmer’s market. I need a bunch of different spices to make my Christmas dinner contributions. Usually, I have one of my friends (he’s an amazing cook) make a big tin of macaroni & cheese for me, and then I just tell everyone that I made it. I have very little shame about this kind of thing. But I decided to make the macaroni myself this year. Because I’ve been taking cooking classes for a while, I’m feeling a lot more confident in the kitchen. We’ll see!

The grocery store is gonna be a zoo, so I’d better get it over with!

G’bye!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

I had to come to work at 5 this morning. Not wake up at 5am. Be sitting at my desk at 5am. I almost cried when my alarm went off. But here I am, at my desk on time. Because I’m an adult. And I need money to pay my bills. If anyone knows a way around our current monetary system, lemme know.

Christmas is almost here! I feel like it has already come and gone, because I felt like it was Christmas on my trip to Paris. So now I have to get back into a festive mood somehow. I could put up my Christmas tree, but…for one week? It hardly seems worth it. Maybe I’ll buy a wreath. I don’t know. I think I got my Christmas high too early, and now I’ve crashed and burned.  Also, it’s 61 degrees today in December, and that’s really killing my Christmas mood.

My job provided The Slutty Vegan for everyone today.  It was delicious. I didn’t expect it to be so good, but I was wrong. Check it out even if you’re not a vegan!

I’m still waiting for my parents to stop playing around and just give me my trust fund already. But until then, I’ve gotta get back to earning a living.