I’ve been high all day. Not on drugs, you heathens! On an experience. This morning I went to Starbucks and while I was standing in line, two ladies a few feet in front of me… More
Here are some pictures of my trip to Tulum, Mexico that I shared on Instastories earlier this month.
We only stayed four days but I wanted to sell all my things and stay forever. Well…not my camera. Or my laptop. Oh, and I definitely wanted to keep alllll of my snakeskin footwear. Okay, I guess what I’m saying is not forever but I definitely would have liked to stay about three more weeks. But I was lucky enough to be able to go in the first place, so I won’t be that annoying person who complains about great things happening to them. Nobody likes that person.
I’m definitely in my element when there are straw hats, bike rides, the ocean, and no alarm clocks in the morning. Can you imagine if I were filthy rich?! You’d probably never hear from me again! I’d be on a French island sleeping in and jumping off cliffs into the ocean. You could likely reach me through my mom, though. There’s no way she’d let me get by without updating her a few times per day.
Since I’ve been back I’ve been preparing for my new job, which starts next week.
Guys, I can’t even let myself think about the actual substance and responsibilities of the job, because that makes me freak out. So many nerves! So I’m focusing on safe things like fashion! I’ve finally settled on the vibe I’m going for…
I mean… Right?! It took a lot of online shopping and a lot of returning online shopping, but I think I aced the vibe. We’ll see. I’m pretty excited about not having to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn and actually having time in the mornings to spend on my winged eyeliner, ya know? That will be a luxury.
Guys, the weather forecast this week in Atlanta is mid-nineties. It’s not even June. What the actual fuck? But I suppose if the temperature is the biggest thing I have to complain about right now, I’ll take it!
But seriously…nineties?! Come on!
I recently went on a brief tropical getaway, guys. And it’s a good thing that I did because now I won’t be able to travel for at least the next ninety days. I got a new job! Since finding out, I have gone through the gamut of human emotion and I’ve landed again on excitement. I won’t lie, though–there is some wistfulness. “It’s the end of an era!” If you know which television show that quote is from we could probably be good friends.
I’m trying not to dwell too much on leaving my current job, instead choosing to focus on the important aspects of my new job. Mainly–WHAT WILL I WEAR?! I mean, I should probably be reading career books related to my field or something, but if you’ve been reading this blog long enough you already know that my priorities aren’t always exactly where they should be. Let’s just think of it as a fun quirk I possess and move on, okay?!
Yesterday I ordered nine blazers. Yes, you read that correctly. Nine. I’m obviously not going to keep all of them, guys! But I like to try on things at home and check out myself in the mirror with different outfits and angles… All of that takes time! For YEARS I’ve been trying to wear the blazer and graphic tee look and for YEARS it has evaded me. Every time I try on a blazer I look like a little kid dressing up in her mom’s clothes. But I am determined to find the right blazer for me. This is the year. Also–will I wear heels every day?! Dresses?! Do I want to give Boss Bitch vibes like Robin Wright in House of Cards? Laid-back sexy but professional vibes like Rachel (during her Ralph Lauren days) in Friends? Elegant and minimalist like Meghan Markle? Who do I wanna be? What do I wanna give?
Lots of serious decisions to make, kids. But right now I have to go and unpack my suitcase, which has sat, untouched, for the two days I’ve been back. I’ve never claimed to be a pro at this adulting thing, but I think with this new job I could be getting closer!
À la prochaîne !
I just watched my first ever episode of Queer Eye, and I bawled my eyes out the whole time. I’m sort of ashamed of this–but not enough to keep it to myself. The guy they were transforming was just so down on himself. Think of the times you wake up and look in the mirror and think, ugh I look like shit today. Now imagine feeling like that every. single. day. That has to be devastating! But when the guys were done with him he felt so much better about himself and started making plans to re-enter a life he had checked out of… I mean, I challenge you to watch that episode and not cry maniacally too!
When I came home this evening, I spent two hours reading a French book. I know that sounds like I got a good ways into the book, but…nah, man. It was slow-going. It was funny, though, so it kept me interested. I read and read until my brain just couldn’t take anymore. And then I turned on the TV, which is when I decided to watch Queer Eye on Netflix. Now my brain and emotions are exhausted.
Then, guys…then, I started scrolling through Instagram and somehow ended up at an article about layering fragrances. And I read it excitedly. Recently I’ve become consumed with learning how to layer fragrances because I don’t want anyone to be able to wear my exact perfume. I just– I’ll share my french fries with you, but let me have something to myself, okay?!
I’m obsessed with neroli, kids. Obsessed. It started with Glossier’s Body Hero body wash. My friend accidentally signed up for the monthly delivery, so she gave me one of the extra bottles she had lying around and ohmygod. I’m addicted to it. I just looked up neroli so I could tell you guys which flower it comes from, and apparently it’s from the flowers of oranges. You learn something new every day! I can’t even describe the way it smells. Just fresh and feminine and floral. I drown myself in it daily. The scent doesn’t last that long after your shower, though, so I had to find something to add to it. Enter Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino. It’s sooo delicious. I love it so much that I’m finding it difficult to find the perfect scent to mix with it to make my own secret signature scent. Something heavier? Fruitier? I don’t know! I’m frozen in fear of making a mistake, which is absurd because it’s only perfume. But I want to get it right!
You know how your mom or dad or someone else you’ve known forever has worn a perfume for like the last forty years and when you smell that scent anywhere, you instantly think of him or her?! I kind of want to be like that–but not totally. Because who wants to only wear one perfume for the rest of her life?! But..maybe I do? Making decisions is so hard, guys.
Go watch Queer Eye and tell me if you cry!
Another day, another dollar, kids. My life as a barefoot, carefree, wind in my hair Malibu-an was not to be. Georgia Power called and said, “Bitch, don’t try us.”
Also, in a moment of profound insanity, I promised my friend’s kids (ten and eleven) that I would take them to Six Flags (among other idiotic promises I can’t believe I made) on their spring break, which started on Saturday. Although I am the queen of canceling plans, there’s no way I could or would do that to children. If you’ve ever been a disappointed kid, you know how it feels. So I took the little jerks to Six Flags, and it wasn’t as heinous as I thought it was going to be. The lines weren’t that long and the kids were funny enough and the weather was pretty pleasant. Aside from spending a bazillion dollars on hamburgers, it was a fun day.
On Sunday I steam-cleaned my floors to prepare for my upcoming move, and I was able to coax them into a little child labor in exchange for some ice cream and Ariana Grande. This magical combo doesn’t just work on kids, though. I’m also highly likely to do most things if Rocky Road and Ariana Grande are involved. Tomorrow, I promised to take them swimming at Chastain Park, and I just… I don’t remember why I made these promises! Was I drunk?! In a really optimistic mood?! I think because when I made them April seemed so far away that it was almost in the abstract. Well, April’s here and it’s time for me to pay up, I guess. It’s really not that bad except for the initial realization that I have to get out of bed and put on pants on my day off. Everything else after that is a breeze. But public pools? God help me.
Okay, I’ve gotta get back to work. Much to my chagrin, electricity ain’t free.