Guys! IKEA has black matte flatware now. Black. Matte. Flatware. All of my aesthetic dreams are coming true. How long have these been a thing and I’ve not known about them? I was watching this YouTube haul and they were one of things that Suzie bought. Love at first sight. So I went on the IKEA website to read the reviews, and they’re pretty good except that a few people say the black finish has started to rub or chip off, and that would really piss me off. So, I’m looking at reviews from other stores trying to find a set that holds up to wear because BLACK MATTE FLATWARE! I guess I should have known that these were a thing because a while back when I went to price refrigerators, black stainless steel fridges were making a splash.
Did I just say “making a splash”?
Anyway, for an hour today I’ve been working on French pronunciation and mouth and tongue placement. You have to really enunciate, practice in a mirror if possible, and do speaking exercises like just saying “oooo” or “eeeee” continuously. I’m home alone right now, and I’m still embarrassed. But what’s a little humiliation when trying to reach an important goal, right? What’s gonna be really embarrassing is if at the end of this year I’m still having to think about and translate everything I want to say in French. So…discomfort now. Happiness later!
Guys, I keep trying to do these scarf looks and my scarf keeps slipping off like ten minutes after the twenty minutes I spend trying to tie it just right. Ugh. Help! I need to look cute like these ladies!
This morning I wasted good Twitter-scrolling and smoothie-making minutes trying to tie on a scarf, and then, when I finally had it on satisfactorily, I continued getting ready only for it to slide off again. I’m losing my patience, so I may just have to call it quits and buy the already-tied versions. It feels like a failure to not be able to do something so seemingly simple. But sometimes you just gotta take the L, right?
Last week I ordered a dress from Nordstrom that looked kinda pretty and interesting online, but I wasn’t one hundred percent sold on it and wanted to see it in person. It was delivered today, and ohmygod it’s the prettiest dress I own now! I almost don’t want to show you guys a picture of it, because the picture (and the styling) just doesn’t do it justice. And I don’t want you all to be like, “um, that dress is not all that what are you even thinking?” because it is. It is all that. It’s everything.
I can’t wait to wear it. I even thought about going out to dinner tonight just so I’d have an excuse to put it on, but it’s 31 degrees out, kids. I don’t wanna wear it that bad. I also ordered a reed diffuser from Nordstrom and now my place smells just like grapefruit when I walk through the door. Living the dream.
What else, what else, what else? Oh, I took a look at the screen time feature on my iPhone to get an idea of how much time I spend on my phone on various apps. I’m not going to share the screenshot of last week’s total time, because I am legit embarrassed. So I’ve imposed a one hour limit on most of the apps on my phone. I wish I could say that I’m getting so much more done now, but I’m really just going through withdrawal at this point. WHAT IS HAPPENING ON TWITTER?! HAS STEPH SHEP POSTED ANY GORGEOUS OUTFIT PICS ON INSTAGRAM? Gah. Help.
I just texted my friend with a picture of my new rose gold chrome nails, and her verbatim response was, “Biiiittttcchhhh.” That means she likes them.
Tomorrow I’m going to a friend’s birthday dinner, so of course I’m conditioning my hair with an egg right now. I don’t remember where I heard about it, but last time I tried it, it made my hair extremely shiny. Try it. You’re welcome.
Earlier today I came home and decided to make fried chicken for dinner. On the fly. No prep. It was a whole disaster. I’ve been taking classes, but, er, um, I’m still not ready for the impromptu-no-recipe-no-preparation-dinners. It was depressing, so I went online and bought another silk robe. What does one have to do with the other? Thank you for asking! When I prance around the house in a silk robe, it makes me feel like I’m killing it at this being-an-adult thing. I mean, only adults do that, right? See? My logic is airtight.
Alright, I’ve gotta go rinse my hair and get back to this Golden Girls marathon I’m watching on TV. When I was a kid, Dorothy was my favorite character, but now I’m kinda vibing with Blanche. However, I think both of them are too mean to Rose.
My best friend’s birthday was Christmas day. Eight of us planned a trip to Maui to celebrate. I don’t necessarily care for tropical vacations (give me a snowy hill and a snowboard, please), but I love Hawaii. It’s so, so, so beautiful. Everywhere you look there’s just jaw-dropping scenery. I’ve been walking around with my mouth open for twenty-four hours. Hawaii really is paradise. That was extremely cliché. When I was a kid, I always thought I’d be a really cool adult who always said really cool things, but…nope.
Yesterday we went snorkeling. The water, the fish–everything was in technicolor. How are all the colors so bright here?! We also went whale watching. A whale jumped out of the water like ten feet in front of me. I thought my heart would explode out of my chest it was pounding so hard! To see a living thing so enormous that it looks like it could swallow you whole is pretty thrilling.
Guys, I’m not going to lie to you–I felt really close to nature yesterday. Like so close that I felt mad guilt for wanting to eat seafood. And then mad guilt for actually eating seafood. And now I feel mad guilt for telling you that I had the best scallops and ahi of my life last night. But I’m eating fruit this morning to hopefully mitigate some of this contrition I feel! There’s a line in a Fiona Apple song that I love that says, “Can’t take a good day without a bad one/don’t feel just to smile til I’ve had one…” and I never feel her more on that than when I’m doing things like sitting in paradise making myself feel guilty.
Today there are no scheduled plans except to find shaved ice and food trucks and maybe float on my back in this glorious salt water and watch the clouds pass by overhead with all of these jerks that I love so much. I guess I can withstand a little guilt for a day like that.