I just watched my first ever episode of Queer Eye, and I bawled my eyes out the whole time. I’m sort of ashamed of this–but not enough to keep it to myself. The guy they were transforming was just so down on himself. Think of the times you wake up and look in the mirror and think, ugh I look like shit today. Now imagine feeling like that every. single. day. That has to be devastating! But when the guys were done with him he felt so much better about himself and started making plans to re-enter a life he had checked out of… I mean, I challenge you to watch that episode and not cry maniacally too!
When I came home this evening, I spent two hours reading a French book. I know that sounds like I got a good ways into the book, but…nah, man. It was slow-going. It was funny, though, so it kept me interested. I read and read until my brain just couldn’t take anymore. And then I turned on the TV, which is when I decided to watch Queer Eye on Netflix. Now my brain and emotions are exhausted.
Then, guys…then, I started scrolling through Instagram and somehow ended up at an article about layering fragrances. And I read it excitedly. Recently I’ve become consumed with learning how to layer fragrances because I don’t want anyone to be able to wear my exact perfume. I just– I’ll share my french fries with you, but let me have something to myself, okay?!
I’m obsessed with neroli, kids. Obsessed. It started with Glossier’s Body Hero body wash. My friend accidentally signed up for the monthly delivery, so she gave me one of the extra bottles she had lying around and ohmygod. I’m addicted to it. I just looked up neroli so I could tell you guys which flower it comes from, and apparently it’s from the flowers of oranges. You learn something new every day! I can’t even describe the way it smells. Just fresh and feminine and floral. I drown myself in it daily. The scent doesn’t last that long after your shower, though, so I had to find something to add to it. Enter Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino. It’s sooo delicious. I love it so much that I’m finding it difficult to find the perfect scent to mix with it to make my own secret signature scent. Something heavier? Fruitier? I don’t know! I’m frozen in fear of making a mistake, which is absurd because it’s only perfume. But I want to get it right!
You know how your mom or dad or someone else you’ve known forever has worn a perfume for like the last forty years and when you smell that scent anywhere, you instantly think of him or her?! I kind of want to be like that–but not totally. Because who wants to only wear one perfume for the rest of her life?! But..maybe I do? Making decisions is so hard, guys.
Go watch Queer Eye and tell me if you cry!
Another day, another dollar, kids. My life as a barefoot, carefree, wind in my hair Malibu-an was not to be. Georgia Power called and said, “Bitch, don’t try us.”
Also, in a moment of profound insanity, I promised my friend’s kids (ten and eleven) that I would take them to Six Flags (among other idiotic promises I can’t believe I made) on their spring break, which started on Saturday. Although I am the queen of canceling plans, there’s no way I could or would do that to children. If you’ve ever been a disappointed kid, you know how it feels. So I took the little jerks to Six Flags, and it wasn’t as heinous as I thought it was going to be. The lines weren’t that long and the kids were funny enough and the weather was pretty pleasant. Aside from spending a bazillion dollars on hamburgers, it was a fun day.
On Sunday I steam-cleaned my floors to prepare for my upcoming move, and I was able to coax them into a little child labor in exchange for some ice cream and Ariana Grande. This magical combo doesn’t just work on kids, though. I’m also highly likely to do most things if Rocky Road and Ariana Grande are involved. Tomorrow, I promised to take them swimming at Chastain Park, and I just… I don’t remember why I made these promises! Was I drunk?! In a really optimistic mood?! I think because when I made them April seemed so far away that it was almost in the abstract. Well, April’s here and it’s time for me to pay up, I guess. It’s really not that bad except for the initial realization that I have to get out of bed and put on pants on my day off. Everything else after that is a breeze. But public pools? God help me.
Okay, I’ve gotta get back to work. Much to my chagrin, electricity ain’t free.
Chrissy Teigen has highlighted Instastories of her cooking recipes in semi real-time from her cookbook. I made the pan-seared fish this weekend. I followed it step by step, and my fish (sea bass) turned out beautifully. It was perfect. Like an actual chef had cooked the dinner. I’m not the kinda girl to brag, but… My sea bass could be served in restaurants. I don’t think that’s bragging as much as it is just plain, ol’ facts. I substituted garlic & basil butter (from Whole Foods) instead of plain butter, but that’s the only thing I changed. If you like to cook and you’re not following Chrissy Teigen on Instagram, what are you even doing? She is single-handedly responsible for taking my cooking game from a seven to an eight. I’m at an eight, guys. With some dishes anyway.
This past weekend we drove to Malibu and stayed at an AirBnB for the weekend. It was picturesque and relaxing. I don’t really think of myself as a city girl because I’m happiest and most relaxed barefoot and away from people. But… But I need to be close to the action. And I think that the distance from L.A. to Malibu is just right. When we used to visit my grandma every summer in small town Mississippi during my childhood, I don’t think I ever put on shoes. And my cousins and I used to beg my grandma to let us ride in the bed of her pickup truck, which of course is illegal now. I mean–I know that some of that was just the ridiculousness of youth, but–I still don’t care for shoes much. I’m just a country girl who likes the city sometimes! Malibu would be perfect for the rest of my life if the weather was colder during the winter. Also if it were cheaper.
Spring in Malibu is something special, though. The Bae and I went sailing, and although he was loathe to get on a boat with me as the lone sailor, he knew that it was best to at least pretend that he believed in my sailing skills if he wanted a conflict-free weekend.
Guys, I took sailing lessons for like three years as a kid in Chicago. And again for another couple of summers as an adult in Chicago. CHICAGO IS ALL ABOUT SAILING IN THE SUMMER. I’m very good. Even better than I am at parallel parking. You can trust me.
Wear your life jacket, though! #trustbutverify
Last weekend, I also binge-watched the entire season of Selling Sunset on Netflix. It’s a reality show about realtors in L.A. selling multi-million dollar properties. I usually hate most reality shows, but this one was catty without being too catty. Ya know? Like the perfect amount of drama combined with stunning and jaw-dropping real estate. I happily consumed every second, and now I want more. Who knows when they’ll drop the second season, though. I’ve been patiently waiting for the next season of Narcos, and…nothing!
Talk soon, kids! Bisous!