Guys…white truffles cost, on average, two hundred bucks. These MUSHROOMS, on average, cost two hundred dollars. For one ounce. I mean…what?
I know this because I’ve been taking a cooking class, and one of the dishes I’ve been perfecting is scrambled eggs. I know, I know– “Scrambled eggs? How easy! You need a class for scrambled eggs?” Yes, jerks. Because lately I’ve been making the creamiest, fluffiest, most flavorful scrambled eggs you’ve ever had in your lives, and it’s all because of this class. And since you were rude about it, I’m not going to tell you my technique or recipes (except for you, Julie–chives and lobster!).
My teacher likes to give different ways to elevate scrambled eggs. One of his suggestions is to grate white truffles over the top of them before you serve, so off I went to locate some white truffles.
Two hundred dollars. Four hundred dollars. Eighty dollars. These were my options. And–no. This just ain’t gonna happen. Why don’t I just cut up some cash and sprinkle it atop the eggs? Or maybe my 401k? Two hundred dollars is an outrageous price! Outrageous!
But… Maybe for Christmas?
No. It’s ridiculous, right?!
But possibly for my birthday?
No! Why am I even considering this?!
Full disclosure–I’m pretty desperate for elevated scrambled eggs. Who else out here is making elevated scrambled eggs?! I could be the only one! That’s very seductive! Can you imagine people saying, “Kristin makes the BEST scrambled eggs in the world!”? That’d be great, right? Have I lost it?
Guys, I’m obviously not going to buy these white truffles. I’m a rational human being. And it would only be rational to buy such a thing on a birthday or, say, Christmas…