“I Just Took a DNA Test…”

I went to Music Midtown yesterday and saw Lizzo. LIZZO! I live and breathe for Lizzo. You guys know how I feel about Tracee Ellis Ross and Joanne the Scammer? That’s how I feel about Lizzo. I admit, it’s not the most cohesive group of favorites but what can I say–the heart wants what it wants.

Anyway, I saw Lizzo and I danced and sang the whole time and it was everything. Then Cardi B came out, and I did the same thing. I knew the words to every song and so did every single person around me. That’s a good time, kids. My body is sore and my voice is hoarse today, but it was worth it!

I received my order from Pattern, Tracee Ellis Ross’s hair care line! I just got it yesterday, so I haven’t had a chance to try it, but I think I will tonight. The only thing that can stop me is me falling asleep early and that’s a real possibility.

I bought two big mirrors for my place, guys! I’m really growing up and conquering my (completely rational) fears, right?! I bought one from Home Goods and the other from a thrift store. Might have to give the thrifted one a little love before I put it up, but that’s okay. I’ll be able to say “I’m restoring a vintage mirror” in conversation! That may sound extremely pompous and pretentious, guys, but I’m saying it anyway. In every conversation. Gonna find a way to sneak it in.

Okay, I’ve gotta go catch up on my beauty Youtuber videos for the week. I looovveee watching people apply makeup. I think it reminds me of watching my mom do it when I was younger. Speaking of my mom, I told her I was going to come over tomorrow and she told me to make sure that I’m not dressed like a pimp when I do. That’s what she calls it when I wear snakeskin boots or anything with fur or leather pants. I keep a straight face when she says ridiculous things like that, but I really do find it hilarious.

À bientot !

On the World Stage

You guys–I don’t mean to sound self-important but–I’m performing on the world stage. I’m not trying to be arrogant. Dems just the facts.

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Ok, I just imagined saying that to my grandma and I felt a big slap in the back of my head and came crashing back to earth. I’m okay now.

It’s my first work trip abroad!

We started off in Berlin, and now we’re in Reims, France.

F R A N C E. Pinch me. I had lunch today with two Italian dudes and a French woman. What is happening? Who am I? Not gonna lie–I was sweating profusely the whole time. Glad I didn’t wear my natural deodorant (that’s a story for a different day!).

I don’t really have a bunch of time but I just wanted to drop a few photos (and a hastily cobbled-together video) of my hotel and stuff!

 

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Pretty cool, huh?! There’s a lot of English being spoken in our crew but I want to get back into my French headspace so I can communicate and practice as much as possible while I’m here! Keep your fingers crossed for me that I keep holding it together and don’t humiliate myself!

À bientôt !

Backseat Driving, Yoga, & Jacuzzis

One of my top three pet-peeves is backseat driving. It infuriates me in less than ten seconds flat. My friend, Shan, has the worst habit of backseat driving I’ve ever encountered. The worst. But she’s also so hysterically funny that I can never get angry about it. Her commentary on my driving and her feelings while I’m driving  is TV-worthy. I should film it one day.

Today I went to yoga class with Shan and almost peed my pants on the way from laughing so hard. I’ve started going to yoga and Pilates regularly because I noticed that my hips–well, really everything–were getting tighter. Less nimble. But mostly my hips. I’ve always had tight hip and hamstring muscles, but now they’ve started to affect my lower back. And lemme tell you–I don’t do back pain. It’s no joke. So I’ve gotta keep these muscles supple, kids. Yoga always makes me feel one hundred percent better and more limber, and after two or three classes my back pain disappears. But it’s just so boring sometimes! And when it’s not boring, it’s because I’m struggling to hold a pose for five breaths while trying not to tip over and take down the person next to me. Talk about stressful!

Remember going rollerskating as kids and there always being one asshole who would grab onto you while he was going down and would send you crashing down too? I don’t want to be that asshole. Especially not in a yoga class! Can you imagine how mortifying that would be?! I shudder at the thought.

Yoga and Pilates classes are ridiculously priced so I have to supplement at home. I follow Patrick Beach on Instagram for his yoga videos and, ummm, not to be a creep or anything, but…his body. And I don’t mean how it looks, even though how it looks is

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More so I’m referring to how strong he is and how gracefully he moves. Watch…

Does that not make you want to take up yoga daily?! I’d like to be that strong and agile! I also like to follow his Instagram because he has cute pictures and videos of his wife, too. I’m not a total creeper, gah! His Instagram handle is @patrickbeach if you want to follow him.

Aside from Pilates and yoga, I’m also into hot tub jacuzzi-type spa baths. I can’t stand it for long–heat and I don’t get along well. But if I sit in a hot tub for fifteen minutes, I emerge feeling like my muscles are rubber bands! I encourage you to try it whenever you can!

Ok, that’s about everything. I’ve gotta go pack my lunch and prep my clothes for tomorrow because I’m a responsible, proactive adult.

G’bye!

From Hammocks to Boardrooms

I recently went on a brief tropical getaway, guys. And it’s a good thing that I did because now I won’t be able to travel for at least the next ninety days. I got a new job! Since finding out, I have gone through the gamut of human emotion and I’ve landed again on excitement. I won’t lie, though–there is some wistfulness. “It’s the end of an era!” If you know which television show that quote is from we could probably be good friends.

I’m trying not to dwell too much on leaving my current job, instead choosing to focus on the important aspects of my new job. Mainly–WHAT WILL I WEAR?! I mean, I should probably be reading career books related to my field or something, but if you’ve been reading this blog long enough you already know that my priorities aren’t always exactly where they should be. Let’s just think of it as a fun quirk I possess and move on, okay?!

Yesterday I ordered nine blazers. Yes, you read that correctly. Nine. I’m obviously not going to keep all of them, guys! But I like to try on things at home and check out myself in the mirror with different outfits and angles… All of that takes time! For YEARS I’ve been trying to wear the blazer and graphic tee look and for YEARS it has evaded me. Every time I try on a blazer I look like a little kid dressing up in her mom’s clothes. But I am determined to find the right blazer for me. This is the year. Also–will I wear heels every day?! Dresses?! Do I want to give Boss Bitch vibes like Robin Wright in House of Cards? Laid-back sexy but professional vibes like Rachel (during her Ralph Lauren days) in Friends? Elegant and minimalist like Meghan Markle? Who do I wanna be? What do I wanna give?

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Lots of serious decisions to make, kids. But right now I have to go and unpack my suitcase, which has sat, untouched, for the two days I’ve been back. I’ve never claimed to be a pro at this adulting thing, but I think with this new job I could be getting closer!

À la prochaîne !