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Guys…

I’m on an emotional rollercoaster with this COVID-19 catastrophe. Some days I’m chilling, snuggled up on the couch, binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. Other days I’m spiraling into the depths of worst case scenarios and despair. Annoyingly, I figured out that regular exercise really does improve my mood and keep the spiraling at bay. So now my options are freak the fuck out or exercise. I grudgingly choose exercise. Who knew endorphins were a real thing?

I have also tried to keep a somewhat normal schedule because I am very lucky to be working from home. But sometimes you can find me drinking coffee at 11pm and FaceTiming with my west coast friends or cracking up at Seinfeld until three in the morning. It started with me drinking coffee at 11pm as an experiment to see if it would keep me up all night. I fell asleep immediately afterward. Then, I did it again because I was bored and wanted coffee. And that time I couldn’t sleep to save my life. And now here we are.

I ordered the ingredients to make savory crepes, so that’s what I’ll be working on tomorrow. I’ve gotta throw myself into things if I’m gonna make it through this. But I also need to lie on the couch and discover new shows. So far, I’ve watched The Banker (soooo good), some Hulu movies that I can’t remember the names of (some good, some so stupid), Die Hard (twice in one day) and Die Hard 3. I have also read some books and practiced French. I hesitate to say that I’m bored because a character on one of my favorite shows (Mad Men) once said, “Only boring people are bored,” and I really felt that, ya know? I will not be that person!

Stay safe and sane, guys. Let me know what you’re doing to stay in good spirits!

Bisous !

I’m French Now

I’ve been high all day. Not on drugs, you heathens! On an experience.

This morning I went to Starbucks and while I was standing in line, two ladies a few feet in front of me were having a conversation with each other in another language. Was it French? I listened a little harder but I couldn’t really hear them that well–but it sounded like it could be French.

Oh, nope–not French.

Wait, yes it is. I think. 

Then they started to order and one of the ladies was talking to the barista but he couldn’t really understand her, so the other lady would translate. And then I heard the first lady say the French equivalent of “ummm,” and I knew immediately!

Yes, they are French! French people, Kristin!

They started to speak a little louder and I understood bits of their conversation.

Kristin, they are French! This is your chance! Talk to them!

Then the other Kristin that lives in my brain (the one who doesn’t want me to be great!) started trying to talk me out of it.

They’re strangers! You hate talking to strangers! You’ll freeze and forget every word. Don’t do it!

By this time, they had finished ordering and it was my turn.

Do it, hurry up! They’re going to leave!

Don’t do it!

Do it! Do it!

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Guys, I was legit having a heated argument with myself in my head. It was too much. I finally just told Downer Kristin to shut it, walked over to them and said, “Bonjour! Vous êtes françaises? That’s “hi, are you French?”

And they were kind of shocked but in a good way, and they said, “Oui!” And I told them I was still learning French, I asked them where they were from (Toulouse and Paris), they asked me where I’m from, I told them that I had gone to Paris last December, we talked briefly about Atlanta, they told me that my French was very good and I didn’t have a strong accent (!!!), I told them about a couple of French restaurants in the area… This entire conversation was in French. The whole thing! I didn’t speak in English with them once!

I don’t know if it was Downer Kristin or Smart Kristin but one of me was like, Okay say goodbye, Kristin! Leave on a high note! Don’t fuck this up! 

I listened to whichever Kristin was telling me to wrap it up. Let’s face it–I had nearly exhausted my limited vocabulary by that point. I told them it was nice to meet them and goodbye (all in French!), and they said “Bonne Journée !”

I mean, could things have gone any smoother?! Even that bitch, Downer Kristin, was like…

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I walked to my car like…

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It was a good day. I’m still floating.

À la prochaîne !

Work

The second day of my new job I had to lead a meeting with my team. Let’s slow down.

Lead. A. Meeting.

With. My. Team.

Still recovering.

Let’s start with having to say the words “my team” without sounding and feeling like a giant douche. I know it just means that I’m responsible for a group of people, but my god! Those words make me cringe. It’s silly and I’ll get over it. It’s just gonna take some time.

Now let’s talk about something I’ll probably never get used to and that’s talking in front of a bunch of people (my team!) and giving them assignments and deadlines and communicating expectations and

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Help.

Guys, I’m soooo far out of my comfort zone that it’ll cause me to grow and get better, but man…the journey is going to kick my ass.

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Also, I just wrote “journey” and now I’m feeling like a pretentious douche again.

Ok, now let’s talk about an aspect of my job that doesn‘t require steeling myself in the mornings with Jay-Z and Drake to get through.

Next month I’m going to Berlin and France on a work trip! France, kids! FRANCE. Also…Berlin. Let’s set aside the fact that I might have overstated my level of French on my resume. You see–that’s a drama of my own making and I won’t complain to you about that. I will tell you, though, that I’ve been listening and studying my ass off to get ready! French YouTubers, French music, French movies, french fries. You name it!

Ok, I’ve gotta get back to work!

Bisous !

Neroli

I just watched my first ever episode of Queer Eye, and I bawled my eyes out the whole time. I’m sort of ashamed of this–but not enough to keep it to myself. The guy they were transforming was just so down on himself. Think of the times you wake up and look in the mirror and think, ugh I look like shit today. Now imagine feeling like that every. single. day. That has to be devastating! But when the guys were done with him he felt so much better about himself and started making plans to re-enter a life he had checked out of… I mean, I challenge you to watch that episode and not cry maniacally too!

When I came home this evening, I spent two hours reading a French book. I know that sounds like I got a good ways into the book, but…nah, man. It was slow-going. It was funny, though, so it kept me interested. I read and read until my brain just couldn’t take anymore. And then I turned on the TV, which is when I decided to watch Queer Eye on Netflix. Now my brain and emotions are exhausted.

Then, guys…then, I started scrolling through Instagram and somehow ended up at an article about layering fragrances. And I read it excitedly. Recently I’ve become consumed with learning how to layer fragrances because I don’t want anyone to be able to wear my exact perfume. I just– I’ll share my french fries with you, but let me have something to myself, okay?!

I’m obsessed with neroli, kids. Obsessed. It started with Glossier’s Body Hero body wash. My friend accidentally signed up for the monthly delivery, so she gave me one of the extra bottles she had lying around and ohmygod. I’m addicted to it. I just looked up neroli so I could tell you guys which flower it comes from, and apparently it’s from the flowers of oranges. You learn something new every day! I can’t even describe the way it smells. Just fresh and feminine and floral. I drown myself in it daily. The scent doesn’t last that long after your shower, though, so I had to find something to add to it. Enter Tom Ford’s Neroli Portofino. It’s sooo delicious. I love it so much that I’m finding it difficult to find the perfect scent to mix with it to make my own secret signature scent. Something heavier? Fruitier? I don’t know! I’m frozen in fear of making a mistake, which is absurd because it’s only perfume. But I want to get it right!

You know how your mom or dad or someone else you’ve known forever has worn a perfume for like the last forty years and when you smell that scent anywhere, you instantly think of him or her?! I kind of want to be like that–but not totally. Because who wants to only wear one perfume for the rest of her life?! But..maybe I do? Making decisions is so hard, guys.

Go watch Queer Eye and tell me if you cry!

G’night!