The City That Never Sleeps & Pilates

This past weekend we went to New York on a whim. I love New York, but it’s not a city for introverts like me long-term. A short trip is perfect, though, and I love dressing up in glam clothes and pretending like I’m a native New Yorker. It’s one of the few times my (faux) fur jacket and (faux) leather pants make it out of my closet. You can be anyone you want in New York! I choose to channel Tracee Ellis Ross. And Rihanna.

The city was even crazier because of Fashion Week, but I don’t know–maybe it’s always like that. I’ve certainly never seen it calm! Part of its appeal, I guess. Mostly all we did was walk around, eat, take pictures, eat, and walk around. I finally got to dine at Balthazar, which is a French restaurant that’s been on my list for a while. It was magnifique and worth its spot. New York is filled with French restaurants, and I have about twenty-three on my bucket list. That’s gonna take more than a weekend, though!

Back at home, I went to Pilates this evening. It was fun, but I don’t understand why Pilates classes have to be so extortionate. Like gimme a break–a girl’s just trying to lift her ass and cinch her waist.  I bought the most beautiful yoga mat a few weeks ago.

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Look at that red! I live. This mat was the subject of much controversy among my group of friends. A couple of them thought the price was ridiculous for a yoga mat and so I shouldn’t get it, and a couple of them thought the price was just right for something so stunning. Guess which friends I listened to.

Yep.

You guessed it!

Alright, it’s late and I still have to watch an episode of Barbie in French. I read this article a while ago that said things you learn right before you fall asleep, you are more likely to remember. I need all the help I can get.

À plus !

Aesthetics & French

Guys! IKEA has black matte flatware now. Black. Matte. Flatware. All of my aesthetic dreams are coming true. How long have these been a thing and I’ve not known about them? I was watching this YouTube haul and they were one of things that Suzie bought. Love at first sight. So I went on the IKEA website to read the reviews, and they’re pretty good except that a few people say the black finish has started to rub or chip off, and that would really piss me off. So, I’m looking at reviews from other stores trying to find a set that holds up to wear because BLACK MATTE FLATWARE! I guess I should have known that these were a thing because a while back when I went to price refrigerators, black stainless steel fridges were making a splash.

Did I just say “making a splash”?

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Anyway, for an hour today I’ve been working on French pronunciation and mouth and tongue placement. You have to really enunciate, practice in a mirror if possible, and do speaking exercises like just saying “oooo” or “eeeee” continuously. I’m home alone right now, and I’m still embarrassed. But what’s a little humiliation when trying to reach an important goal, right? What’s gonna be really embarrassing is if at the end of this year I’m still having to think about and translate everything I want to say in French. So…discomfort now. Happiness later!

My For-Real, For-Real New Year’s Resolution

C’est presque la nouvelle année !

It’s almost the new year, kids!  I have a ton of New Year’s resolutions that I’m probably going to forget about around January 15th, but…BUT…there is one that I’m really going to keep. I’m going to speak French so well that I don’t have to think about/translate every single word I say.

You see how I’m just spitting out words right now with no thought and no hesitation and I’m just talking and talking and I could go on and on and on about my new reed diffuser or how my car got scratched or that I lost about thirteen Chapsticks this year? That’s how I want to be with French. But less annoying and more interesting, obviously. And even if it takes me all the way to December 31, 2019, I will succeed!

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Right now when I have to form a complete French sentence
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Me forming complete French sentences by the end of the year

Soyez prêt !

I hope you all have a great New Year’s Eve, whatever that means for you! And for the love of God, don’t all of you descend upon my gym on January 1st and take all of the treadmills, mmkay? I already don’t want to be there, and I ain’t waiting 45 minutes. I’d just give up and go home to eat croissants. Don’t do that to ya girl!

Bisous !

C’est Moi

Guys, I’m so tired.

I’m out here going to bed at four in the morning, dancing on balconies, waking up at six-thirty to try to take pretty pictures of the sunrise. Basically living my life like a thirteen-year-old on summer break forgetting that, of all my friends, I was the one who needed the most sleep when I was thirteen. I’ve got about two full days in me without sleep before a meltdown is imminent. But, like…having a meltdown in Paris? A French meltdown?! I can’t even be mad at that.

I’ve got things to do and see, so I can’t have a meltdown. That’s why I took a nap a few hours ago that I’m just waking up from, and I feel brand new. But maybe I’ll go to bed by midnight tonight, just in case.

Maybe.

Today we went to take a look at the Ritz Carlton because we were curious if we’d chosen the prettiest hotel in Paris. The Ritz was opulent and glamorous and luxurious. But I still think the Four Seasons is prettier–more modern decor, which I like. We may go to the Mandarin Oriental tomorrow to see what their hotel looks like during Christmas. I’m dying to know. But across the board, I can say the French know how to do Christmas. I’m in awe of every single Christmas setup I see here. I couldn’t even begin to think up, let alone create, some of this stuff. It’s stunning.

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I also went to a few pharmacies today. A pharmacy in France is where they sell a bunch of skin care products. I mean–french moisturizers? I felt like I had won the lottery, kids. While I was in the second pharmacie I visited, another customer asked me what products I use and what my French skin care regimen was.

Let me repeat that.

Another customer asked me what products I use and what my French skin care regimen was.

A tourist thought I was French. A tourist thought that my skin looks like it’s on a French skin care regimen.

OOOMMMMMGGGGG. Day made. Call Macron and ask him to sign my citizenship papers. I’ve met the necessary criteria.

Later, I was reunited with my loyal and steadfast friend:

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Yesterday I went to Hermès just to bear witness to some extravagant French luxury.  Saw a handbag for thirty thousand dollars and was, like…

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Alright, I’m on my way to eat dinner. It’s 9:30pm. I’m sooooo fucking French.

Bisous !