Life Tip: Do not binge-watch The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix, then go to a haunted house, then re-watch Paranormal Activity if you ever want to sleep again. I made that mistake yesterday. Still awake. Still a wreck.

Every October it becomes clear to me that I’m still the same eight-year-old who confidently and defiantly claimed that “scary movies/stories/haunted houses don’t scare me anymore” and the same eight-year-old who begged to sleep in her mom’s bed afterward. This is who I am. I’ll never change.

But it’s October, and haunted houses and horror movies are mandatory. I don’t make the rules. You know what else happens in October? The silly debate over whether candy corn is disgusting or not. And I think we can all agree that candy corn is disgusting–but in a wholly delicious way and if you don’t like it, you’re probably a serial killer or some other kind of horrible person, and I will be suspicious of you until the end of time.

If you live in/near Atlanta, you should check out Netherworld Haunted House. I go almost every year, and every time it’s still so f#$king terrifying! I mean–I’m a chicken so it doesn’t take much, but still. Highly recommend! Also watch The Haunting of Hill House, because it is phenomenal.

This Friday I’m going to Six Flags for Fright Fest and then maybe another scary movie, so I’ve stocked my place with enough wine to put a horse to sleep. And marshmallows. And candy corn. Like I said before, I don’t make the rules.