The second day of my new job I had to lead a meeting with my team. Let’s slow down.
Lead. A. Meeting.
With. My. Team.
Let’s start with having to say the words “my team” without sounding and feeling like a giant douche. I know it just means that I’m responsible for a group of people, but my god! Those words make me cringe. It’s silly and I’ll get over it. It’s just gonna take some time.
Now let’s talk about something I’ll probably never get used to and that’s talking in front of a bunch of people (my team!) and giving them assignments and deadlines and communicating expectations and
Guys, I’m soooo far out of my comfort zone that it’ll cause me to grow and get better, but man…the journey is going to kick my ass.
Also, I just wrote “journey” and now I’m feeling like a pretentious douche again.
Ok, now let’s talk about an aspect of my job that doesn‘t require steeling myself in the mornings with Jay-Z and Drake to get through.
Next month I’m going to Berlin and France on a work trip! France, kids! FRANCE. Also…Berlin. Let’s set aside the fact that I might have overstated my level of French on my resume. You see–that’s a drama of my own making and I won’t complain to you about that. I will tell you, though, that I’ve been listening and studying my ass off to get ready! French YouTubers, French music, French movies, french fries. You name it!
Ok, I’ve gotta get back to work!
Another day, another dollar, kids. My life as a barefoot, carefree, wind in my hair Malibu-an was not to be. Georgia Power called and said, “Bitch, don’t try us.”
Also, in a moment of profound insanity, I promised my friend’s kids (ten and eleven) that I would take them to Six Flags (among other idiotic promises I can’t believe I made) on their spring break, which started on Saturday. Although I am the queen of canceling plans, there’s no way I could or would do that to children. If you’ve ever been a disappointed kid, you know how it feels. So I took the little jerks to Six Flags, and it wasn’t as heinous as I thought it was going to be. The lines weren’t that long and the kids were funny enough and the weather was pretty pleasant. Aside from spending a bazillion dollars on hamburgers, it was a fun day.
On Sunday I steam-cleaned my floors to prepare for my upcoming move, and I was able to coax them into a little child labor in exchange for some ice cream and Ariana Grande. This magical combo doesn’t just work on kids, though. I’m also highly likely to do most things if Rocky Road and Ariana Grande are involved. Tomorrow, I promised to take them swimming at Chastain Park, and I just… I don’t remember why I made these promises! Was I drunk?! In a really optimistic mood?! I think because when I made them April seemed so far away that it was almost in the abstract. Well, April’s here and it’s time for me to pay up, I guess. It’s really not that bad except for the initial realization that I have to get out of bed and put on pants on my day off. Everything else after that is a breeze. But public pools? God help me.
Okay, I’ve gotta get back to work. Much to my chagrin, electricity ain’t free.
I had to come to work at 5 this morning. Not wake up at 5am. Be sitting at my desk at 5am. I almost cried when my alarm went off. But here I am, at my desk on time. Because I’m an adult. And I need money to pay my bills. If anyone knows a way around our current monetary system, lemme know.
Christmas is almost here! I feel like it has already come and gone, because I felt like it was Christmas on my trip to Paris. So now I have to get back into a festive mood somehow. I could put up my Christmas tree, but…for one week? It hardly seems worth it. Maybe I’ll buy a wreath. I don’t know. I think I got my Christmas high too early, and now I’ve crashed and burned. Also, it’s 61 degrees today in December, and that’s really killing my Christmas mood.
My job provided The Slutty Vegan for everyone today. It was delicious. I didn’t expect it to be so good, but I was wrong. Check it out even if you’re not a vegan!
I’m still waiting for my parents to stop playing around and just give me my trust fund already. But until then, I’ve gotta get back to earning a living.